I really do. All i can think is you. And when i look away, i think of you again. I can spend at least 30mins just sitting staring in blank space and thinking of you. Arggh.! Life sucks.! Why am i in love with this person.? When am i going to get over this person.?


The 1st time i fell for you was weird actually. I was halfway drunk and you were i think drunk or high.?? You came slightly later. It was random. I laid on your lap and that was when my heart starting beating faster and faster. I definitely didn't fall for your looks back then. Idk what i fell for but i do know that i fell for you. That was the day that someone tried to kill himself by jumping down the 2nd storey place. That person was obviously drunk. Wanna kill yourself by jumping down from the 2nd floor.? Wahh.. That helps.


Then i thought it was just a slight crush or something. But i knew. After some time, it didn't go away. The feeling stays. And i already knew that you would never fall for me. That was when i tried falling for someone else. Which i did. Then after some time, i realised, i do still like you. After the whole 2 years, i still liked you. You must be something huh.


Then, those moments came. Things that you did for me, which means alot to me but meant nothing to you. It was moments that i always cherish and think about over and over. Those were the times that i was really happy and you weren't contacting anybody.(I guess.?)


And after all this time, you falling for all the different people. From Shahrul, then Pul, then Dydy, then now Hakim.. I don't know why i still like you.*sob sob* Now you're really happy with Hakim. Jealous i am. Hmph.!


So yeahh.. Was really happy. I got to sit beside you and watch u sleep. Really close. Then woke u up and we headed home. I wish everyday to be like that.


Now, that kening boy, Zairi is trying to flirt with you..! Like OMG laa.!! Bleh nampak siaa..!! Da laa flirt dgn bynk jantan.. Then ade hati.!! Arrrggghh..!! I just hope you wouldn't fall for him.. But if u do then i can't stop you. 2day u were soo sweet.. i don't remember what you did but i feel like i'm falling for you over again..


I don't know why, but everyday that i spent with you made me feel like it's always a whole new love starting over again. I never felt it going away. The only time i felt like it's going away is when i forced myself not to see you for a very long time. But i had to always either bump into you or had to meet up with you due to dance prac. But yeahhh.. Love is always unfair. Not to everyone maybe.? But to me, it has always been unfair. I love you R_____ B__ O_____.!!!!! I really do but you really don't love me a tiny bit and i can do nothing to force you to love me. You gave me too many pain by ur always heartless move. And i'm putting an end to this 'thing'. 9 months of waiting, not really waiting but hoping. Guess that hope is not happening. If u happen to read this (which i think u might), don't think of anything bad alrite. It's just what i feel.


I don't feel like moving on but if it's going to be like this, i really can't take it anymore.